Loss versus Gains

Today, I caught myself sitting around, I’ve been thinking about losses versus the gains in the four decades I been in here and I realize I have had a lot of days and I feel grief, sadness, even despair because of my young mistakes and I feel like I threw my life away sometimes. I grieve the mistakes I made, not for myself but for everybody they affected. But I think that’s what drives me to live, making restoration in a daily form. I still threw away being a daughter, sister, aunt, friend, athlete that I was, and a good student. This week I want to share that a couple of people reminded me that I have "given life" back in so many ways since I’ve been here for 40+ years. I’ve had opportunities to create six 3d murals from piles of prison, piles of trash, trash that I picked up around the prison, you wouldn’t imagine the beauty it adds and conversation to many here because it let’s them know that in turn show that their mistakes can be turned into positive growth. Opportunities to honor loss of another and leave a legacy of help, love, forgiveness and change.  I’ve been given a chance to overcome hassles, setbacks by parole boards, threats on my life, etc....to learn that I can do the right thing in these situations even though there has been no recognition for these things and a second chance, for my moral character or rehabilitation.

I have had several losses in my time here....I’ve lost a father, stepfather, grandfather, step grandfather, aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends. But today I can still continue to see gain. I’ve had opportunities to grow and make a difference and I guess sometimes I have to accept that maybe I just do the right thing because it’s the right thing to do. Yet also I gotta share that at 40+ years in prison, age 62, I still beg for those who spout off phrases like second chances, and second looks, clemency, commutation, my faith says people deserve doors opening, etc.....I want em to make a move on what they’re saying. Maybe others like myself have paid the price for the losses both the ones we caused and received. It is time for the gains I'd doing the right even when we know no one was looking.

This is Karen, and I’m not giving up today. I can humbly tell ya, that I deserve the gain of a second chance. How many years in prison for Loss versus how can Gains be recognized? How can I gain a second chance from those who spout they " believe everyone deserves a second chance"? I promise you my losses could be others gain if given a chance to make a difference out there in society.  

Loss vs Gain commentary posted to PrisonRadio.org on 9/4/2026 recorded live from KCIW in Pewee Valley, KY. Available on Apple Podcasts and Spotify. Karen Brown can be heard with her commentaries weekly.