Journey Not in Vain

A 1950's study conducted by Dr. Carl Richter at John Hopkin's to measure how psychological states like hopelessness and hope affect physical survival.

Even after 40+ years in prison, I want to share today that I still pray that my journey toward reclaiming my life is not in vain. I have made a difference in the people’s lives here, and a lot of the programs I’m over but I have to admit that today it takes a lot of strength to keep persevering and hold on to hope. I know many incarcerated “lifers”, that’s what they call us, we’ve lived in remorse, with true repentance, rehabilitation and we’ve risen to the level of inherent worth and potential that transcends our current circumstances, we really have.

Our communities not only need but they want us out there. We can bring growth, transformation, knowledge through experience and positive contributions out there. We have done the inner resolve work, we’ve been determined, we’ve confronted our pasts while we’ve embraced the journey of a possible brighter future. No, I’m not saying all of us, but we’re asking our nation and our states to recognize those of us who have.

I read an article once where researchers performed an experiment about hope to determine the effect hope has on people undergoing hardships, or even animals. It was odd to read, in that research, they had two sets of lab rats. They were both placed in separate tubs of water. One set was left in the water constantly and it drowned within an hour. The other set was lifted out of the water every now and then. Those rats swam for over 24 hours. I had to ask myself why? I don’t believe it’s because they got a rest period every now and then, but I believe it’s because they had hope… each day and each time they were lifted. If they could stay afloat just a little longer thinking maybe someone would reach down and rescue them. If hope can be that strong in an unthinking rodent, how much stronger can it be in our lives?

I have climbed to hope to stay afloat for over 40 years, living with my mistakes, despair, hurts, and discouragement. Others who have floated on a positive path also…we are asking for someone else to reach down and rescue us.

Many of us were sentenced in the 1980’s when legislation was designed to create prison stays with longer sentences. Now we’re on a new journey to Death by Incarceration. In the 21^st century, excessive sentences have decreased a lot, so we need all states to adopt second look laws.

Are we journeying in vain in our criminal justice system? I know judges wear black robes, sit at the bench with plaques reading “In God We Trust”…really? I know another man in black, that my mother use to love…Johnny Cash. He was called the man in black.  In the lyrics of his song he said, “I wear black for the prisoner who has long paid for their crime, and for those who never read the words Jesus said”. In God we trust means second chances, and faith is founded in forgiveness! Give us that second look, give us that second chance to journey with our communities and educate those, educate those who are about to make the same mistakes we made and the scars we have in our lives. This is Karen and I pray you’ll journey with me.

Karen Brown M.Ed. has been incarcerated since February 1986. She is currently a correspondent for Prison Radio.org. Her commentary Journey Not in Vain was posted to their podcast on 5/26/2026.